Sunday, March 13, 2011

Week 27: Sorry, no, I'm just a fattie.

Blobby Layne and I are at the 6 month mark!
The kiddo and I went shopping this afternoon and there are a bunch of really cute spring dresses on the racks. As I can't properly see myself until we take the picture for the post each Sunday, I thought it would be a great idea to try on something stretchy.  I managed to get one dress on and realized, really for the first time, just HOW BIG I AM. In perfect comedic timing I got punched from the inside, as if to punctuate the joke of me getting into anything that needs to be zipped up. Ba-dum-pah.

I don't mind getting pummeled from the inside. I do, however, have a dislike of getting touched and prodded from the outside.  Now that there is little denying that I am pregnant people take my protruding middle as an invitation to touch me.  Tattooed and pregnant? Doubly so... if you can't rub my Buddha-belly, why not grab me by the arm and make a joke about me having a tattooed baby? It would be so clever of you.

If my mama taught me one thing, it was this: Keep Your Comments To Yourself.  And your mitts.

Your comments, though are always welcome here. Especially if they contain good comebacks.


  1. Maybe I just looked really fat (rather than pregnant) because people rarely touched me. People also rarely touch my baby when we're out and about (which I've also heard complaints about from people). Maybe the key is to just become a recluse and not go out, or work in an office where you hide behind a desk and never come out from behind it. I don't know. But you're ALMOST THERE! xo

  2. the time Nevin was born I was making tents to wear, because there was noting and I mean noting store bought that would fit me, that was 1989, now thank goodness they realize big women do make babies! Be sure you get Rob to snap a few of you a naturale (you don't have to post 'em)but will be glad you have them later...

  3. no one ever touched me, either. maybe you need to cultivate a more menacing aura.
    penny is a total snuggle whore, and she touches way more random people than have ever touched her.