Friday, September 9, 2011

Week 12: The ButtStamp Of Approval! (Or, Desmond is Better Than CATS!)

I wish I could add sound effects.
Many of you have asked about how our household (some meaning the two of us as parents, some asking about sleep deprivation, but mostly meaning The Cats) has adjusted to a new baby.

The answer? Doing OK. I admit to a sleep-deprived meltdown and the house could be cleaner, but whatever, I would rather make faces at Desmond than wash dishes. I eat lots of sandwiches off paper towels. Sometimes these sandwiches don't include bread. Sometimes a sandwich is three tablespoons of peanut butter. Don't judge.

The Cats, however, alternate between behaviors; often they want to participate in family snuggle time. They lick my toes. Sometimes they meow and make sweet kitty face as one of us feeds them. They have smelly breath. Very often I chase them down to administer various medications to keep the mean geriatric felines alive. Mostly though, they act like jerks and put their wee-banana-slice-kitty-butt all over everything. We have a mesh tent over the crib to kitty doesn't work. The evil destructive monkeys touch everything with wet noses, gritty paws, butts and leave a trail of hair letting everyone know exactly how much they enjoyed sleeping in the basket full of diapers. On everything. Everything. 

Every. Thing.
Desmond has not yet expressed any interest in the kitties. He is more interested in his own feet, laughing at his own farts and splashing in the bath tub. (Check out the photo pool for more pictures.) I can't wait until he corners one of them. I do love The Cats, don't get me wrong. But The Cats have been demoted. At this point the level of poop, drool and vomit has reached critical mass, and (forgive me) the baby can't clean his own bottom or bring me presents caught in the yard.  There are only so many butts and noses I can clean off in a day. I don't even have the chance to put my sandwich on a sandwich some days. The Cats are now second class citizens. Don't judge.




1 comment:

  1. hahahahah I am not judging. I think I ate like 2 lbs of dried cherries just because I1` didn't have to do ANYTHING to them (and they were so yummy). I ate crackers, lots of them, sometimes i managed to get some deli meat onto my cracker... those were the good days! Also, I love that your cats now have another 2 boxes of babyclothes to put their butts on!